Spiral Project: Some clarifications

Some folks have asked my criteria for judging. They should be obvious, but just in case, my simple thinking in how you rate a restaurant is in four qualifications, plus perhaps a fifth. They would be: Taste, Value, Service, Ambiance, and maybe Reliability.

Taste is obvious – how good does the food taste. Good quality ingredients? Attractive presentation (if appropriate)? Well thought out recipes? Something either tastes good or it doesn’t.

Value is a big one. I realize I live in New York City and a lot of stuff is simply more expense than elsewhere, but I don’t want to feel like I’m getting ripped off. Charging for a lot of side dishes that should be included with a meal? That’s a ding. Paying thirty bucks for salmon and then getting a two ounce portion? Ding. I don’t need pig-out sized portions, but not all of us are so rich we can afford to throw money away.

Look – if I got out to a fine restaurant, I’m expecting to pay for it. Just don’t obviously pinch pennies.

Service is also key. How long do you wait to get served? How friendly is the staff? How do they react when you ask for suggestions? Are they snotty unless you are a customer in the know, or if you are dressed ‘wrong’ or are the wrong ethnicity?

Ambiance is how the place looks and feels. This is a tough one to quantify, so I go with “if its appropriate”. I like a fun, visually entertaining space. If I’m someplace classier then I want the ambiance to match.

Here are my biggest pet peeves:

Service: If I come in and am ignored because you are busy? Ding. I learned working retail a long time ago that EVERY customer who comes in should be acknowledged with eye contact and properly queued.

Value: making me pay for substitutions that cost the restaurant less. if I forgo the fries and toast for breakfast and ask for a green salad, don’t give me a hard time.

Ambiance: make it appropriate. Your classy Japanese sushi place shouldn’t be playing Bon Jovi. I like him as much as the next Jersey Boy, but not while I’m eating sushi.

Taste: if you are going to do experimental meals, make them work! I had a cheese dip at a french/tex place a few reviews back. It was labeled queso fundido, typically a smooth cheese dip. Instead it was a hunk of brie partially melted in some broth, plus chips. How the hell do I eat this? I can’t eat the broth with chips and the hunk wasn’t something I could pull apart. An appetizer designed as a dip shouldn’t need a knife and fork.

In my respects I’m a simple gourmand. I want a tasty meal in an appropriately-ambianced place with good service that costs something reasonable, based on the fare.

I’ve found that most restaurants hit two and half of the four, on average. Most places half nice ambiance and good tasting food but are slightly too expensive with crappy service. Or has good food, good price, but a shitty space with so-so service. So when I say a place has three of four, give it a visit; when I say four, make it a mainstay.