East 8th between avenue A and 1st, just west of A: Tuck.

Tuck is a small Australian pie shop. It has a diner-style bar counter and a couple of tables, newspapers, a small diner-y atmosphere, a decent sized menu, and good food.

The mainstay are pies – small pot-pie sized pastry crusts filled with various fillings, and they had a few. I’ve tried the beef – a ground beef stew of sorts, spicy and tasty; and the Guinness steak – chunks of steak marinated in Guinness with mushrooms, almost like a stew. Both were excellent. The size might be a wee bit on the small side, but the price matches – five bucks for the beef, six for the Guinness. Either with a beverage could make a small meal, and they do have sides there, like salads. The pies are pre-made several times a day, they say, and ready and warm so service is quick.

The two different servers I had were both cheerful, chatty and pleasant, and offered suggestions. They are open late nights, later even still on weekends.

If I can find any flaw, which I will just to not make the review boring, it’s that I have a hard time believing that a pre-made pie not sold will be discarded after a couple of hours, so the chance of getting an older one sitting in the warmer for a long time might be possible. If so, I couldn’t tell, so I wouldn’t worry about it. The place was fun, homey, and comfortable.

All in all a positive experience. Taste great, service great, value about average, and ambiance good. I’m sure I’ll be back.

Some folks have asked my criteria for judging. They should be obvious, but just in case, my simple thinking in how you rate a restaurant is in four qualifications, plus perhaps a fifth. They would be: Taste, Value, Service, Ambiance, and maybe Reliability.

Taste is obvious – how good does the food taste. Good quality ingredients? Attractive presentation (if appropriate)? Well thought out recipes? Something either tastes good or it doesn’t.

Value is a big one. I realize I live in New York City and a lot of stuff is simply more expense than elsewhere, but I don’t want to feel like I’m getting ripped off. Charging for a lot of side dishes that should be included with a meal? That’s a ding. Paying thirty bucks for salmon and then getting a two ounce portion? Ding. I don’t need pig-out sized portions, but not all of us are so rich we can afford to throw money away.

Look – if I got out to a fine restaurant, I’m expecting to pay for it. Just don’t obviously pinch pennies.

Service is also key. How long do you wait to get served? How friendly is the staff? How do they react when you ask for suggestions? Are they snotty unless you are a customer in the know, or if you are dressed ‘wrong’ or are the wrong ethnicity?

Ambiance is how the place looks and feels. This is a tough one to quantify, so I go with “if its appropriate”. I like a fun, visually entertaining space. If I’m someplace classier then I want the ambiance to match.

Here are my biggest pet peeves:

Service: If I come in and am ignored because you are busy? Ding. I learned working retail a long time ago that EVERY customer who comes in should be acknowledged with eye contact and properly queued.

Value: making me pay for substitutions that cost the restaurant less. if I forgo the fries and toast for breakfast and ask for a green salad, don’t give me a hard time.

Ambiance: make it appropriate. Your classy Japanese sushi place shouldn’t be playing Bon Jovi. I like him as much as the next Jersey Boy, but not while I’m eating sushi.

Taste: if you are going to do experimental meals, make them work! I had a cheese dip at a french/tex place a few reviews back. It was labeled queso fundido, typically a smooth cheese dip. Instead it was a hunk of brie partially melted in some broth, plus chips. How the hell do I eat this? I can’t eat the broth with chips and the hunk wasn’t something I could pull apart. An appetizer designed as a dip shouldn’t need a knife and fork.

In my respects I’m a simple gourmand. I want a tasty meal in an appropriately-ambianced place with good service that costs something reasonable, based on the fare.

I’ve found that most restaurants hit two and half of the four, on average. Most places half nice ambiance and good tasting food but are slightly too expensive with crappy service. Or has good food, good price, but a shitty space with so-so service. So when I say a place has three of four, give it a visit; when I say four, make it a mainstay.

Just around the corner on e. 8th and A is the famous Crif Dogs.

Crif is a small shop, below street levels, with a half dozen tables, a chrome bar with stools to eat at, a few old video game machines, a phone booth, and some kitash and TV’s on the walls. The ambiance is dive-y but bright.

Crif has been a long time east village staple, according to my local friends. You get a choice of dogs, burgers, fries and sides, shakes and floats, and beers (and other drinks).It has late hours (until 3am most nights I think), generally friendly service, and usually even with long lines the wait isn’t long to get your food.

I’ve been here quite a few times since I’ve moved here. The dogs are deep fried, tasty and crisp.  My favorite dog combinations are the ’spicy redneck’ – wrapped in bacon, plus chili, cole slaw and jalapenos; the morning jersey – wrapped in taylor ham, melted cheese and a fried egg; or the tsunami – bacon wrapped with teriyaki sauce, pineapple and green onions.

Most dogs are in the 3.50-5 dollar range – perhaps a tad pricey, but a good quality hot dog is worth it, and these are certainly the best I’ve had in the area. I’ve had the tater tots with chili and cheese a few times. Sometimes I get the milkshakes, which for five bucks *is* pricey.

So: Value is average (pricey, but the quality is so good I let it slide), ambiance is good, service is good, and taste is excellent. I plan on eating here more than a few times before I move away, and you should too.

Woo, another keeper! Right on the corner of 8th and ave a we find Sushi Lounge. It appears to be a twin to Sushi Zen on St. Marks and 2nd ave, a long time mainstay of mine, where I still insist you get the best ramen in the city (that I’ve had, so far).

Anyway, I went there twice in the last couple of days – the low carb diet I’m on is conducive to sashimi. I ordered the sashimi deluxe platter, where I got 12 pieces of sashimi, a salad, and a spicy tuna roll. After the 50% discount, it came to ten bucks  – wow. Can’t be beat for value.

The fish was all fine – fresh. Just fine. I wouldn’t put them in the great category, I’ve had better, but they were good and for half-price they were fantastic. The sashimi came on a bed of kelp too, instead of the normal radish scrapings, which was tasty and welcomed (and the first I’ve seen in a budget sushi place). The spicy tuna roll was fine, average for NYC – very few places like to do anything creative with the poor spicy tuna roll, it seems. There was a great sushi place in NJ I used to go to that made their spicy with Frank’s red hot and it was superb.

The decor is funky, sort of like a diner, big bright and loud. The clientele is mostly younger folks, it has a crazy bathroom where people are encouraged to write on the walls. It can get a little TOO loud at times.

I’ve eaten their twice, as I said, and both times the meals were good, cheap, and well quality. Service is fast. You can’t go wrong with this place!

I made a parody of the Google Search ad that was on the superbowl.

They say write what you know!

Midway down Avenue A ‘tween 9th and 8th is the Flea Market Cafe, a French-bistro style eatery and bar.

FINALLY. After a depressing review of I Coppi and nothing really standing out, my first good selection!

I arrived at about 6:50. The place is smallish, maybe a dozen tables, and had a few patrons. The menu has everything French bistro-y: mussels, frites, steaks ,and dinners. I started to peruse the menu but the host explained that the ‘twilight’ special was about to expire, if I wanted to try that, so I elected to. It was Twenty bucks for three courses – not bad!

You get a wine/soda/beer (I got seltzer – carbs again) with the meal. Then I got a basket of warm, fresh, rustic bread – here that, I Coppi? This was good bread. Then followed by an onion soup, which was one of the better I’ve had – a healthy serving of sweet onions in a nice broth – not salty at all, usually a problem with onion soups – crouton and cheese. Very nice.

My entree was salmon over a vegetable stir fry in a balsamic sauce (of sorts), which was recommended. I asked for the salmon medium and got it, for a change – 99% of the time salmon is dry and overcooked, but this place did a bang-up job. It had a sort of nut crust on top. My only criticism was it was smallish – probably 3 oz or less. But it was adequate in size.  I just felt, presentation-wise, for a giant plate and a mound of veggies it could have had another inch’s worth. Of course it was Delicious, so having more was on my mind.

Lastly I got the Crème brûlée – very well done. Not too much crunchy caramel, and the custard was cool but not too cold.

All of this for twenty bucks! Of course, it was early dining, and if purchased regularly would have been double that all told, probably, which makes the place a touch pricier, but still.

The decor screamed ‘French bistro’ – French knickknacks, racing posters, art, etc. Music was some nice mellow house tracks plus a tasty jazz selection.

value: very good for early dining, sort of average for otherwise; service was excellent and fast; decor fun. Taste very good. Will definitely come back soon.

Well, finished one loop! Now on to the next block.

On the corner of Ave A and 9th is Yoshi sushi (well – more down Avenue A, but Doc Hollidays has no food). I went in or an early dinner. One other diner, and very quiet.

The service was quick and professional, the chefs behind the fish smiling. The decor was dark woods and they have a sunken Japanese-style table in the back.

Price wise, it was in the normal tier – not the 50% off tier you see so many places doing, but not super expensive either.

I got a spicy tuna roll (standard for me and a good bellwether) and a sashimi dinner with salad. Damn my carb control! The spicy tuna roll was ok, but nothing special.

Now: let’s talk about the sashimi. It was good – quite fresh and a  decent portion for the price, and had the nicer fishes versus trying to load you up on calamari. But here’s a wierd thing – the serve the sashimi in a giant bowl – and I mean giant, like a salad serving bowl for a whole family. It certainly looked nice, and artsy, and I can appreciate the Japanese style and importance of presentation, but how the hell do you get the fish out and into the soy sauce and to your mouth? Remember that when most folks dip, you want to tap off any excess back in your sashimi plate. I wanted to put the soy sauce container into the bowl with the fish but the bowl was angled so deeply it wasn’t possible. Instead I dripped shoyu everywhere.

Value, better than average. Service great, atmosphere nice. I would have pegged it as a ‘meh plus’ but the crazy bowl thing was annoying. Nothing outstanding. If it were my only sushi choice in the neighborhood, I’d use them, but there plenty and I suspect better ones. We shall see.

Edited to add: Oh yeah, two more things I forgot. First: the salad was blisteringly cold. I assume it was pre-prepared and in a fridge, but crap – it was nearly frozen. Not good.

And the music was hard core rock and roll when I was there. It didn’t really fit the atmosphere. Play some fake Asian music, play some j-pop, but not stadium rock.

On Ave A and 9th we have a local coffee shop and hangout, Cafe Pick Me Up.

It’s a decent establishment. The coffee is good, but nothing outstanding (like MUD). The baked goods are of good quality and generally fresh. For a non-chain coffee place, prices are affordable. They offer breakfast and brunch fare, which I’ve had, and again – nothing memorable.

The service is good. The atmosphere is what you would expect for an east village coffee shop – plenty of hipsters, people discussing their documentary, glasses-wearing artists working on screenplays and good looking couples. The tables/chairs are all mismatched and the decor is warm and homey.

They are open later. I’d bring a date here.

so: value is good, service good, quality/taste is average. If you leave nearby and don’t want to deal with the crowds at the superior MUD, make it your coffee place.

Heading back west on e.9th st, we come full circle since I began to an Italian bistro, I Coppi.

I went on a Tuesday at 7pm and it was pretty quiet – just me and one other table. The wait staff was friendly. The atmosphere was nice – typical better-class Italian restaurant: browns, wood, candles. A full bar was evident and a pizza oven, which was sadly broken.

They apparently have  a garden, closed for the inclement weather.

So this place was kind of hit and miss. First I got the bread basket and some olive oil. The bread was on the tasteless side – they advertised that they don’t bake with salt, the ‘Tuscan Way’ – but the bread was pretty dry and uninspiring in terms of crust and texture. Also, it was cold. Not hot from the oven, already bad, not room temp, but cold. Go figure.

Then I had an appetizer of eggplant with goat cheese in tomato sauce. This was good. I got it to taste the red sauce, which was really good,  I thought – fruity and spicy, far spicier than most Italian places.

My dinner was gnocchi in a Gorgonzola sauce with walnuts and a separate side of garlic and oil spinach. The spinach was nice, but that’s not hard. Now – here comes two recurring complaints I have:

1. Gnocchi that’s squishy is overcooked. Sorry, but it is. If it squishes like a marshmallow, overdone. Considering that it sat in a hot bowl for 20 minutes while I ate it meant it got squishier as it continued to cook. I’ve been to one restaurant so far in NY which prepared the Gnocchi the way I like it. I always order it if it’s on the menu, to see how they do it. Not the most overdone I’ve had, but certainly not good.
2. Don’t label a sauce as ‘Gorgonzola sauce’ if you can barely detect a hint of the delightfully strong and smelly stuff. Please. Anybody who asks for it knows what it is and wants to TASTE it. The cream sauce was bland and only had the barest hint of the cheese. Letdown.

Price-wise I was expecting to pay quite a bit, but I think they gave me the dinner special rates and instead the whole dinner only cost me $24 which was quite reasonable.

Nothing offensive, but nothing stands out. I feel like I’ll come back for brunch or their pizza just to give them another shot, but I’ll have to be in a good mood. And when does that happen?

Heading back onto east ninth st (I had started halfway up it) we come to Itzocan, a Mexican/Aztec-themed  restaurant. The online reviews say it is hybrid French/Mexican, I didn’t really notice. Shows what I know!

When I went it was full (given that there are only 5-6 tables) but I got seated and served pretty quickly, so service is fine. I got a queso fundido – a traditional cheese dip – with a huge hunk of not-melted brie swimming in a watery butter sauce, not so great. I guess the brie is the ‘french’ influence. How do I eat this? The chips couldn’t cut the brie and couldn’t pick up the sauce. If it was truly french/mex then some bread would have been a better compliment.  For an entree, I got a flank steak in a chili sauce over semolina dumplings.

For $18, the serving was pretty small – maybe 6 thumb sized dumplings and a soap-bar sized piece of meat. It was spiced nicely, hotter than I would have expected, and the meat had been roasted until soft, which was good. The atmosphere was cozy but interesting with Aztec decorations and brickwork inside.

So service, taste, and atmosphere all good – value a bit questionable. I say good for taste but not great – the hybrid never really felt like one or the other. I think the chef should stick to the Mexican stuff, because he obviously has ability.

This place strikes me as a cozy date night if its not crowded, but I couldn’t see going back for any compelling reason, or making it a go-to, which is a shame, given that it’s 100 feet from my apartment.

Oh, and cash only? What is this, the dark ages? Get a credit card terminal. Cash only is for a taco truck.